January 29, 2010

Ten Ways To Eat More

Well, I think I have every right to write about this. I have ever been such good an eater, that I often left people wondering about the elasticity of my stomach, and the buffet restaurants bankrupt over a single eating session.

If you have trouble eating, or eating more... bingo, you re at the right place. Read right ahead.

1. Walk while you eat. It kind of stocks the food in the right way, as it runs down the food-pipe, thus making space for more. Remember, the video game, Tetris. Exactly that way.
2. Speak less while you re eating. Let the mouth muscles relax, and concentrate on the top- priority job.
3. Eat, and puke. You re now ready to eat again!
4. Drink lots of water, but only after you re sure, you don't feel like eating more.
5. Change plates for every dish. It makes you feel like you aren't even close to tummy-full.
6. DO NOT count whatever you re eating. What are you here for... eating? practicing arithmetic?
7. DO NOT compete in the eating business. Tension and mental-pressure might kill your appetite. After all, eating is more important that eating faster, or fastest.
8. Eat like there is no tomorrow. Tomorrow is very far, eat like 2012 is going to happen the next hour. Who knows!
9. Plan when you want to eat, where, how much and other such trivial stuff in advance. At least a couple of minutes so. You shouldn't have a hard time deciding whether it is time for the chocolate fudge or the extra-cheese sandwich.
10. Let someone else do the ordering. Even, if you are paying/ sharing the bill. Saves you the guilt in the end, of eating all you ever wanted to eat!

Well, I think this is my best post till date. Totally mine. Totally me.

Cheers! ;-D


jaishu said...

impressive list..huh!!!i always wanted to eat only for the sake of satiating my taste buds.but u know,consequences are hard to digest.
u r post was hilarious as much informative it was.eat as much as u can, or else someone else is going to !!! eheh..keep writing...more so bcos that will keep me reading ..!! =) :P


Hahaaa....OMG! I've promised myself to read it again...hilarious indeed..