Happiness And Me.

Happiness is one word everyone seems to be running around. Most cases, people almost find their ways to be happy. They 're content and cannot possibly think of a way, life could show up better. Many, genuinely turn out to be in total satisfaction with life. Though there seem to be a wild n-number of dissatisfied individuals out in the jungle, I never fell short of those who felt otherwise.

Cheer, is another term. It might get as close to happiness as a tissue paper flower gets to a rose, but definitely not beyond. People can sure be cheerful, inspite of a deep unhappiness buried within their souls. I have attempted to be cheerful through many stages, good and bad, for the only reason that hope never failed to linger around. And it was cheer at a point of time, that made me cheerful for the time to follow.

Now, there is one question that has been haunting me for quite a while now. What is the one point so nice about 'happiness', that I ve always failed to understand? Because, I am quite clear now, that it was 'cheer' I was chasing all the while, and not 'happiness'. It was satisfactory. It never failed me, while I was through the rough path. I was content with being cheerful all this while. And it never occured to me that I lacked a quotient of happiness.

Not that I find it a minus in my life to lack happiness; I never knew enough of its significance to understand. Second-by-second, minute-by-minute, one-time contentment was what I had always aimed for, and flawlessly achieved.

Above all, I don't find it a neccesity to be happy in life always.

I ve heard, "I do everything for the happiness of it". Many times. I find it lame.

Life doesn't have to be happy always. There is no reason why one should get everything one wants. Not a speck of reason more for why one should be 'happy' with what one has.

For me, Life is essentially a mixture. I need all sorts of emotions in equal proportions. More like a roller coaster ride than like a train journey- Ups and downs, highs and lows rather than a pleasant countryside view. I do not try and rule my emotions, because I don't think that makes any sense. I cry because I feel like crying and I feel like crying because things around me seem to generate that feeling. If there is someone good enough to rule their emotions; I think they wouldn't have a more moronic way of cheating themselves!

If at one point in life one has to be angry with his environment, he better be. If today I hate to make compromises in life, I d rather, I know I hate it. And all the compromises I make, they better be worth the fruits they bear. If I want to cheat some really good friend; if I really want to. I do. If I carry regrets in life, I d rather have them, than craving for a false happiness not having them!

All this while I see no part of my brain groping for the key-word!

Contrasting what I heard before, Happiness in life for me is not the journey. It is the goal.

The Goal which I would realize the moment before I breathe my last.