Having believed that I had nothing to write, for too long, I got pissed with myself and my reluctance to try. Getting back, it now feels almost impossible to give up blogging! I love it.
I thought I could be happy, and stay
Cut off from you; oh! Far away
Remember making up my mind, not to fail;
Of never giving up my nerve, come what may.
I believed I would live content, though I always felt
A sting, an urgency to fly back to you
That I always camouflaged, under the colors
Of the bright, mean Everyday…
Yes, I kept myself unbroken, and tried
Even harder to overcome, flashes and streaks
Of love that, escaped to the dark, mysterious land
Of no-one… to the world around; but I wouldn’t care.
Reality could not break me down, despite all
Loneliness and melancholy; I had
No time to help myself, or kill
The boredom, gloom and the loss of joy.
I deep inside knew, you were my only key
To pride and bliss; to love and life,
But I would rather hurt myself, and torture,
Than lose against one and suffer an ego-death.
You see, you won, sooner or later
I have indeed rebound; strange, you seem helpless
To hurt; powerless to wound; I could never
Have known, you were always there in me.
I wouldn’t dream of being there again,
Bad it was that we had to be apart, now I know
It feels crazy and mad to stay away
From something that you so madly love…