A time to rend, and a time to sew

This phrase reiterates its presence through the pages of a Paulo Coelho work - The Zahir, which is one of my favorite books till date. It tells that there is a time for everything, and when the the right time arrives, one is powerless to stall the result it bring along. And until, that very time arrives , any amount of struggle amounts to nothing.

While it whispers that patience is only aptly rewarded with the fruit of result, quite ironically, it screams that time waits for none. It is the beauty of words, that gives the phrase myriad meanings at the same time, and a unique purpose they are destined to fulfill.

Why all this, you might ask? Why right now?

I ask myself that too. This website that held such importance in my life for four years and suddenly disappeared, not to be thought about for an entire year.

I can think of several instances where I wanted to write, but was too lazy to open this page to do so. Maybe, the time wasn't right. There were also instances, where I told myself, that with hardly any activity, it was OK to shut it down. Guess, it wasn't the right time for that either.

However, now, at this very moment, I felt compelled to write. Not for the sake of adding a fresh link on the site, but since I felt a random nostalgia to memories recorded through multiple pages of this site.

It is a time to sew, I guess.

~Priyanka

One year in a new city!

No, it is not the exact same day I landed in Bangalore last year. It is just roughly an year since I decided to leave the love-of-my-life-town - Hyderabad and move into a new city in search of greener pastures. (Bangalore definitely is greener. But is also damper and dirtier, so that sort of makes up for Hyderabad being a better place anyway). Also, one year down, this new place still feels new.

As it is, I don't clearly understand if I have miserably failed at adapting to a new environment. Nevertheless, I surely have survived.

Moving to a new place, can be extremely exhausting and tiring. What I hated about the change was the fact that I completely lost my freedom. While yes, staying home with a mother ready to get you married to the next eligible NRI in sight might sound like a little bit of a no-freedom life, but that was still OK. Here, my everyday life lost its freedom - I have no bike to run around, no cats to play with, no house to dirty and no kitchen to cook. I have some limited space in a small room (that I still can't manage to identify as 'home'), with one cot and a really small cupboard. (Thanks to my mother again. The universe seems too small a place to accommodate the clothes she wishes I wear regularly).

But this, did not come without a brighter side.

I love my work. Agreed, I had difficulties adjusting with a completely new environment, completely new mentalities and a completely new department of work all at once... but now, I have settled in. This might exactly be why I call myself a survivor despite not having a very entertained time in this new city. I have come to terms with my health - in the sense that - I managed to leave behind a major period of illness, weakness and fear and entered a phase of not-so-much cough and cold.

I have made friends at work, and have met some truly amazing people. People I want to be more like and people I want to be able to work like. I guess, that's the best thing that happened to me in the last one year. I connected back with some old friends and that was delightful.

Further, I discovered that I indeed am good at this new field I chose to explore. And, while being good is not a permanent thing, I learnt that neither is being bad. So, I have successfully identified my strengths and I managed to find some people who would help me fix my weaknesses over time.

Overall, while I really cannot claim that this was the best way this year could have been... I am pretty sure it has been a lovely one year. Having learned and unlearned a lot of my life's important lessons, today, I am happy that I took this decision to move out.

Well, like everything neither is this feeling permanent. And I will think about that some other day.
As of now, I am happy I didn't get forced into a child marriage this year, and hope my mother understands what I mean.

~ Priyanka

We do not shoot the messenger

It is not your fault if you think carrying messages is an easy task. Well, if the messenger is being shot, it is not so bad after all. He'd starve to death without that job, anyway. Besides, sometimes you are shot by your own colleagues for carrying too much information, to the next department. Haha! You really wouldn't understand till you are the one with the wrong haircut or just an out-of-fashion goatee.

Look to your left and look to the right,

Look behind yourself if you really might,

For, it is around you that it all begins

And it all ends, in the dark of the night

Around you is a plain boring scene

It could as well be a glorious, colorful theme

Open up and look around,

What ever lies hidden, to see you're bound

Close not your eyes, neither your ears

Close not your head with lies and fears

Open up to know and learn real hard

Open up to a world forgotten lines and words myriad

In the silent of the dark...

It is here that I always wished
I had a story to tell and a song to sing
I wished I knew what it would be like
To be there, in your place and see you in mine...

I wished you could see the world like I did
Understood how foolish you look to me
Why and when I shouted and wept
I wish you could see, you did hurt me

I wish I could show you how
I smiled secretly to myself now
I am not you and will never be
Perhaps we are better of not knowing and unknown

I think about it with sanity and mind
I worry about how we would manage
I can never see how things would be alright
I can never see if you would ever understand

It seems like it doesn't matter no more
It feels like it is the only thing that did
I trust it will never change - what you feel for me
I wish you would change the things you did

It is in the dark that I wonder about it
Hazed out, wishing I could see stars in the open sky
In this closed room and a closed mind, my eyes shut
Only wishing and knowing that the day would be bright

Difficult day at work? Telling myself these, helped me...

• Work is where we spend 70% of our overall time, we might as well be happy- (My boss tells me this)
• Your happiness quotient directly affects your efficiency- you want to deliver good work
• Laugh a lot- Those who are not nice to you would know they don't matter enough and those who make an effort are glad
• There is something you learn at every point, you're growing into a better person- your market value has increased
• Happier work is something you won't regret spending some extra time on
• Nothing is permanent. People move on, your environment moves on. YOU, will move on
• Work is not so important that you need to be unhappy about it. You could be happy about it, but definitely not unhappy
• Whether you're happy or sad, the week moves and the Friday comes
• Your work is its own reward